Fang Girl
Publisher: Harper Teen, 2012Genre: YA ParanormalThings That Are Destroying Jane Greene’s Undead Social Life Before It Can Even Begin:
1) A twelve-year-old brother who’s convinced she’s a zombie.
2) Parents who are begging her to turn them into vampires.
3) The pet goldfish she accidentally turns instead.
4) Weird superpowers that let her rip the heads off of every other vampire she meets.(Sounds cool, but it doesn’t win you many friends.)
5) A pyschotic vampire creator who’s using her to carry out a plan for world domination.
And finally:
6) A seriously ripped vampire hunter who either wants to stake her or make out with her. Not sure which.
Being an undead, eternally pasty fifteen-year-old isn’t quite the sexy, brooding, angst-fest Jane always imagined....
Xanthe Jane Greene had always been big vampire fan, writing fan fiction on Fang-Girls.net and reading all the popular fiction about vampires out there. However, she never actually wanted to become one! Especially when becoming a vampire is not as fun as all the books she's read. Now Jane has to deal with parents who want to become vampires too to accompany her for eternity, an Elder vampire intent on killing her and her sire, a Victorian vampire guy who's trying really hard to romance her, and a ripped vampire hunter who is way too much a distraction when he's trying to stake her.
In her YA debut Helen Keeble's use of vampire lore is not only hilarious but genius! She takes the vampire myth to a whole new level of hilarity, especially their desire to clean and organize. Jane gets firsthand experience on how severe OCD can get you killed. I really loved how her whole family took in the fact that their daughter had risen from the dead. Jane's Mom is very proactive about the whole thing, and goes into research mode to help her daughter be a good vampire. Her Dad is very supportive too, cooking a lot of different meals to see what she likes. Her brother Zack is just hilarious, and takes everything in stride.
And their pet goldfish is my hero.
Jane is sure her family is quite crazy. Luckily Ebon de Sanguine comes along. He's a Victorian vampire with a suave attitude who can't quite contain his excitement around modern stuff. Though he seems very interested in helping her, and romancing her, there's just something not right about him. Then Van, the totally ripped vampire hunter, comes along! Just what Jane needed, another distraction. The two will form an unlikely alliance when Jane's family is taken hostage by the Elder vampire who's searching for her.
Fun, witty, and completely hilarious, Fang Girl had me laughing at every turn of Jane's new vampiric life. This is not just a simple satire on popular vampire conventions, but an original and fun take on old vampire lore. It's four months only five days until the release of Fang Girl, and I'm already begging for another Jane adventure!
*I received the ARC from the author*
Favorite Quotes:
~First Feeding~
After that, it wouldn't have mattered if I'd bough Lorraine a naked boy toy and her own Porsche; she hated me, and the rest of the school avoided me like the freshly bleeding sacrificial goat I was.
Which is why I was clinging to the wall outside her window, trying to break into her bedroom. I reckoned that if I did turn out to have bloodlust, I'd be doing the world a favor.
~Breakfast~
"Dad got me a…guinea pig?"
"For breakfast,: Zack said. "That's why I named her Toast. You aren't going to eat her, are you?"
"No!"
"Woot!" Zack hugged the cage to his chest, carrying it off in the direction of his bedroom. "I hope you don't want to eat Marmalade or Sugar Puff either!"
